we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize