He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
