ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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