I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
