I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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