every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
