Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
