Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
