He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
