we're chasing vodka with high fives
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
