Ambien. No doubt about it.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
