Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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