At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
