He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
