Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
