I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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