so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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