Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Randomize
