remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
