had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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