So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Everyone says I win the strip club
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
