dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
