First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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