Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Congratulations! We have a period
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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