i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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