He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
