I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
