Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
