he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Randomize
