dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
