This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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