i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Actions speak louder than pants.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Drunk is a universal language darling
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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