If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
