I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
