i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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