i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
