You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Ketchup is God's man juice
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
