I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Non-Jews are for practice
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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