Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
