Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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