Nicole vs. Life
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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