a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
