the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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