Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
