Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
