I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize