i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
