This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
