I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
