dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
he wants to bone in the snuggie
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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