This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
