I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize