I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
