I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
