Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
