this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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