i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
