seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
