ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
