Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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