just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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