You really coming over, don't trick.
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
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