is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize